Earlier this week I was presiding at a memorial service for a former of resident at Luther Court, with Pr. Ed Chell responding to a family emergency. Pr. Ed served supply for me a couple weeks ago. I didn’t imagine I would have an opportunity to repay the favour so soon afterward. Anytime you’re in someone else’s space including as a leader, you’re there as a guest. I’ve assisted at memorials at Luther Court in the past but not as the presider. I arrived 30 min before the memorial and we still needed hymn texts printed and we needed double the number of chairs for people attending, with more family and friends arriving than anticipated. In the middle of the memorial there was an open mic time, something that strikes terror in my heart as a presider. There is no way of knowing how many people will speak and for long. Thankfully it all came together and things Pr. Ed would have known with whom to check in to arrange. I’m now better equipped to preside in the future. And I’ll give them credit when you ask for 50 copies of a hymn someone takes care of it right away. Very friendly and resourceful staff.
The kingdom of God is like a memorial worship that is filled with both chaos and God’s grace. In our gospel reading Jesus reminds us that the kingdom of God is for people on the margins, people who are vulnerable. This includes people who have experienced divorce, children, and also elders including those under the care of others. There are times for us to gather with more structured worship and there are times to trust in the presence of the Spirit when we’re called upon to step in and accompany families in times of mourning.
Today’s gospel about divorce is a difficult one. It brings up difficult memories for many of us. We are all touched by divorce whether we ourselves have experienced divorce, our adult children, grandchildren, friends of the family, a colleague, etc. While we are striving to remove the stigma of divorce in Lutheran churches, we know the stigma remains. There are enough churches that continue to preach against divorce in judgmental and shaming ways. But what stands out in the gospel, looking at this passage in context, is that Jesus is affirming the autonomy of women. In Jesus’ time women did not have the autonomy to initiate or file for divorce. Only men had this autonomy. Jesus says this by asking the disciples what the law says, which they interpret as only permitting a man to divorce his wife. Jesus reinterprets the law as applying equally to men and women. Reading between the lines, what the man is permitted, so too should women be permitted also.
Today our understanding of marriage has moved beyond the union of a man and a woman. We bless marriage between queer people. And we’re beginning to explore ways in which we also bless polyamorous relationships in which people have more than one partner. I’m not going to attempt to outline polyamory in the brief time of a sermon, but it is something we need to explore further, the rising trend of faithful non-monogamous relationships among Christians. You’ll recall Pr. Lyle helped defend a colleague who had been unfairly disciplined for being transparent to a bishop about their non-monogamous relationship as a Christian leader. This is the kind of thing that will require further study for us as the understanding of faithful queer relationships among consenting adults widens and changes. These relationships have always existed, it’s just that now we’re hearing about them more commonly. Just like how divorce was a stigma that people didn’t talk about, but has become increasingly common. So too we’ll have other ways to include the fullness of what blended families and relationships look like.
We are already carrying around enough trauma. We don’t need more judgment, feelings of inadequacy, feeling we don’t measure up to some standard. All of us struggle with these feelings no matter the outside sense of success, material comfort, etc. Some people’s inner lives may be better concealed or private, but all of us have a family member going through relationships problems, whether it’s the aftermath of a separation or divorce, a serious medical crisis, a recent death in the family, financial struggles, or existential threats considering recent flooding in the Southeast US, war in the Middle East, instability in South America, and beyond. Increasingly the world feels smaller. We hear about the war in Ukraine, while knowing that’s not far for those of us who have friends and family in Eastern Europe or even Southern Germany. I have great grandparents who immigrated to Canada and the US from Lebanon and Syria. I think about how families bombed recently could be distant cousins. None of us are untouched by struggles in the world.
What Jesus promises is some relief and respite in the midst of trauma. Jesus says “Let the children come to me. Do not stop them. For the kingdom of God belongs to children.” The disciples are well intentioned but often find themselves as gatekeepers of God’s love. Similar to how the church has been a gatekeeper against people who have experienced divorce, queer whose relationships challenge society norms, also breaking down the boundaries of racism and segregation within church structures.
A story about children. Recently our younger child in middle school attended a band workshop at a middle school called Super Saturday. Super Saturday is where every middle school kid who wants to play a band instrument receives a lesson, often the first time many kids try to play their instrument. At the end of two and a half hours they play a mini-concert. Some kids come with relatively more or less experience depending on lessons they’ve taken previously. And while the concert is fairly simple, what is amazing is in just a couple hours the kids develop enough confidence for each section to play Hot Cross Buns or similar song. And they play in front of parents, guardians, and each other. There was trombone and baritone, alto sax, tenor sax, trumpet, clarinet, flute, and percussion. In this one morning there was a sense of inclusion and support for these kids who were beaming, lifted up by teachers, parents, and other kids. Super Saturday is a day of grace that helps them begin the journey of joining band.
Sometimes we’re in need of a Super Saturday in which we can just show up and be told that we are amazing. That we are reminded that we are enough. And that’s what Jesus is doing here. He’s telling kids they’re amazing children of God just for being themselves. They amazing for trying something new even if they’re just beginning.
Instead of Super Saturday, we have a Super Sunday. This morning Jesus wants you to know that you are enough. You are loved. You are valued. Even though we’re not always graceful or confident in how we’re meandering through life. Receive that gift of grace for yourself. You are invited into the kingdom of God just as Jesus welcomes a child. Jesus loves you the way you are. Amen.
